Where I Talk About Ego

No artist feels good enough all of the time, some never feel good enough; it is part of the dilemma of the artist. We often don't feel our work is good enough to show to others, not even those closest to us. It is not a desire to keep it a secret it is a fear of being told we really aren't good enough; or worse hearing the placating tone while they lie and tell us how amazing it is like we are 6.  Confidence when we are done with our words, photographs, music, etc. is often lost.

Artists must have confidence to start a work and work on it until completion. Skill is not the only requisite of art of any form. Confidence is vital. Many a lovely piece have lay uncompleted in a drawer or closet because an artist lost their confidence mid way through. There are artists who do not have a problem with confidence, who start and finish everything they decide to work on. I have not met them, but I am sure they exist, like Moby Dick out there waiting for a critic's spear. There are those who have enough confidence to start an infinite number of projects but none will ever cross the finish line because they don't have enough to keep them going OR to know when they are done. They just keep adding or refining infinitely. I think most artists are the type that never start. I think most of us are artists and just don't have the confidence to get started. The few who can work from beginning to end AND get themselves to let their work go in front of a harshly judging public need to be commended. Their art, in whatever form, may not be our "cup of tea" but it is their soul so be gentle in explaining this to them.

That was all the long way around to talking about budding artists. The young have all of the confidence in the world, until we take it from them. Robert Fulghum tells of giving talks to kindergarten and senior classes and the differences between the two. How the difference between "YES WE CAN" and "YES I CAN" and "Yes, they can" and more happens. Some of what is lost in those possibilities is confidence, the idea of the possibles bag is a gift of confidence. We can do that every day with people by just reminding them that someone believes in them. You never know what kind of a gift you are helping to bloom.

The artistic ego can be a funny one. Once we have the confidence in our gift we REALLY have it or we wouldn't be able to show it to anyone. At the same time we are insecure if what we are doing or showing is even a gift. It can be confusing to deal with, especially if you haven't before. Remember that we are all caught between "Yes I Can!" and "Do You Like It?" Each and every time we "deliver" our gift and it might help you.

As of Sunday NaNoWriMo has begun. This is the point where my entire blog is going to be taken over by writing. This is the point where I might not make any posts at all or might make more than one a day, depending on how well my novel is going (hint, the second one will mean not well). I have my research, I have my idea, now it is FINALLY time to write.  If I don't get to posting before December I will see you then and I will be seeing you from Tucson!

Right and Left Part III

And everything in between.  A lagoon, a pond, a river, or a stream. Water flows. It is the uniter. It joins the earth with the air and tames the fire. Earth is the body of our planet but water is her blood.

I am on Patreon.

Right and Left Part II

The Atlantic in March vs the Pacific in July.  The water is cooler and deceptively smoother. There are no surfers on this side of the country. Swells don't rise high enough to even disturb a wind surfer. Cold beauty and infinite patience. Wearing it's way around the world.  Water is there even when you can't see it.

I am on Patreon.

Right and Left Part I

This week the 3 Ps are related, today we start with the Left Coast.

I have mentioned in the past my fascination with water. Water comes in many different forms, even when it is liquid.  There is no more basic a way of showing that then to compare and contrast the oceans.  I have only been lucky enough at this point in my life to have seen the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.  As I was well into my 30s when I saw the Atlantic for the first time, you will understand that that makes me quite excited and eager to see more.

Our photos today are of "The Left Coast" the Pacific in all of it's glory. From ice to steam, water means life. Let it surround you. Don't just see it, feel it.  The pounding of the waves. The push and pull of the tide. The subtle lapping of the pools on the beach. Water is. Take a moment today and just be there with it.

Love what you see?  I am on Patreon.

Working with Artists, Being an Artist

I am surrounded by artists.  Even the cat tries to paint. It can be harrowing. The days when only one of us is creating can be just as bad as when only one of us isn't.  We do things like go to art museums and critique the layout of the paintings on our rare days off of work. If one of us is completely stuck the other two vary between trying to help and tiptoeing around the fact that we are on a roll. Being an artist is the truest form of masochism I know. Being an artist in a family of non-artists would be worse, but being an artist in a family of artists is not masochism it's certified insanity!

The best thing to come from this? I am working in many mediums that I haven't for a very long time.  From my writing to my painting and even some of my crafting I am doing things that a decade ago I had "given up" for that sake of making money.  We have recently in this family had an epiphany: Money sucks. Say what?  Money sucks. We need it. Paying the bills without it is very hard, but the way we go about getting it?  Yeah it sucks.  Even when you are doing something you love, the money part of it sucks. We have made a deal with ourselves to do the things we love, make the art we make and work the jobs we have to work. Money is a necessary evil, but it need not rule our lives. We are always in the process of trying to make our art that thing that brings us that necessary evil. It hurts to make that exchange.  We firmly believe that we make things with owners, they just haven't found each other yet. When the two come together and it is money keeping them apart...yeah, money sucks.

We write, paint, photograph, craft, meld copper, create jewelry, sculpt, play instruments, write music, sing, and are slightly insane.  Some we do extraordinarily well, some we are still working on. The hardest part? Using the term art to describe what we have made, determining that it is good enough to be sold, and then allowing a price commiserate to the effort and materials we put into it. I use a very simple formula for pricing:  250% of materials in the piece + $10-$25 per hour used to create it. The price per hour varies mostly because our skill level varies in our respective crafts.  You want Crimson to play piano at your wedding then you are going to help pay for her equipment, training and her time. Did I just pull these numbers from nowhere? Nope.  There is a logic to it. 100% of materials is the cost of the materials you are holding in the piece. The next 100% goes to replace those materials. 50% is in profit-although if the cost of materials has gone up that eats into the profit. Oh and the cost of the trip to the site, yeah that does the same, don't forget about the cost to set up. I think you get the idea. The pay per hour is simply paying the artist for the time they put into a piece. The amount that is paid depends upon the time they have been performing an art and their skill level. Crimson has a Masters in Music, Piano Performance. Her price per hour is actually significantly higher then is listed above. You get what you pay for.

Seeing a piece you have made with the price tag determined by the above variable is both great and scary. You KNOW in your soul that it could have, should have been better; that it isn't worth the tag the price is written on. At the same time you KNOW that it is a stunning example of your work, quite possibly the best thing you have ever done, and way under priced.  That is the dichotomy of  being an artist. We support each other through that and giggle at the anxiety. We then turn around, a day later (or less), and do it ourselves. There is no relief from the thought that you might not be good enough and the thought you are doing amazing things.  They are both in your head doing battle throughout every piece you create. It is calming them down and  making them work for you that makes each piece worth it to the new owner.

Pictures of our gorgeous copper and gemstone bonsai on display at an event; because, everybody likes pictures.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Painting

I have been inundating you with my poetry, earlier this week was even kind of dark and sad.  Today we are going to talk painting.  When I paint I am not going for a specific look.  That just occurs.  I know how to start, I know when to finish; but in between I am freaking out because I have no idea what I am doing.

Sound familiar? It is not a new or unique problem.  If it was I doubt we would have any artists of any medium.

“A painting requires a little mystery, some vagueness, and some fantasy. When you always make your meaning perfectly plain you end up boring people” 
― Edgar Degas

Dragon

Malestrom

Small and large, minimalist and so not.  These two paintings only look like they are from the same artist because I signed them. Yet they make the same statement in their way.  I let the art stand for itself most often and try not to impose my view upon the viewer.  To me these are both about beginnings.  Sometimes simple, sometimes messy; starting over is the only way to move on.  We all start over every day.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Sometimes it Hurts

Too Soon

The Mother cries

For the life She had to take

For the hearts She had to break

Not because it was his time

Not because it was our time

But because it was Her time

So gently She weeps

As the tears roll down our cheeks.

Blood Tells

I am not a mother

Yet I am their Mom, their grandma and

I was his Great Grandmother

We only met twice,

Yet he was my baby

Blood is not the only connection

Family is of the soul

He will be missed

Another piece of my heart  taken early

Dad

My heart hurts.

My stomach turns.

My tears fall.

I miss you.

You were my rock.

You were our shelter.

You are Dad…

And you are gone.

I remember

And I weep

I ache

And I burn.

I know you walk beside me.

I wish I could feel your hug.

You would love him too.

It’s what makes me so very sad.

Tomorrow is forever

Today will go away

The past is a fading memory.

Stay in my heart

Know my dreams

See my joys

Feel my sorrows.

Kiss my hurts

Heal my wounds

Patch the scrapes

I miss you

I love you

I need you

Father 

Poetry comes from a place deep inside me. Sometimes it hurts.  I cry while I write, but I still get it out.  Why?  Because sometimes it is supposed to hurt.  You don't get away with living life without pain. Sometimes life hurts.  There is nothing wrong with that. It is the way it is supposed to be. Sorrow is how we heal.  Let your life be a life.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Poetry

Looking back on the many posts I have already made, I was surprised that there were not more posts about my poetry. I do not write poetry often, mostly because it comes to me whole in a flash. There is no outline, deliberation, editing. I just have my piece. I had better write it down quickly too or it will be gone...just like it arrived. I have spent many a late night writing piece after piece. I have a love hate relationship with those nights.

My first poem in over 10 years was also my first real writing in that long. I had sequestered myself from my friends and the urge to write had gone with them. At the time I thought it was for the best. I regret nothing for I love where I am today, even with the challenges I have, but I did miss it.


Every Night as I lie in your arms
Your breath touches my skin
Passion flows in my veins
Love lives in my heart and
Wonder lights in my head
For it is every night that I lie in your arms…


I wrote this piece for Sar. He opened my heart and my mind in so many ways; we were particularly awful to be around as the New Relationship Energy pumped through us. That one caught all of that, plus my excitement at writing again.

Secrets, the next poem, actually has no story.  Well other than the one where everyone tried to figure out what I was hiding.  Honestly it just came like many others, it had no hidden meaning to me.  Does it to you?

There are things you cannot share
things you do not dare.
There are things that make you sad
when all you wish is to be mad.
There are things that stop you in your tracks
and make others turn their backs.
There are things you wouldn’t show
that no one truly wants to know.

It’s best if these things stay hidden away
forever and a day.
A promise broken, a promise kept
broken hearts under rugs, swept.
There are things I wish to say,
if only I could find a way.

I don't know what style I would call my poetry. I rarely worry about rhyme, thinking more about the rhythm of the words. I often use short phrases and repeated patterns, not words always, but repeats in the look and feel of the phrase, to get impact. You can see that in my final piece today.

What I want
What I need
Who I love
Who I am
How I live
How I talk
Where I play
Where I laugh
Why I care
Why I write

What matters?
Who fears?
How said?
Where cautioned?
Why judge?

Ask
Learn
Know
Live

The more I write the better I write, or at least the better I think I write.  I hope you are enjoying the blog! 

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Creating a World, Creating a Universe, Creating a story

“A writer is a world trapped in a person.” ―Victor Hugo

Lately I have been doing a lot of world creation.  Everyone goes about this completely differently.  The way that is right for you, is the right way-for you.  I am not here to tell anyone how or what to do I am here to show you what I do and offer it as an alternative or a starting block.

Depending on the setting I will either start with research or a map.  If I am creating a world from scratch as I am with Dragur, my RPG idea, I start with the map. There is going to need to be research as well; but the map is the impetus for the action in this case.  The amount of resources available and what those resources are drive the story.  Even if the map is largely in my head at first, it is the map that creates the world.  With "Live," my settings vary and I am looking at a very character driven story line, the map is there but research is needed to flesh it out.  I already know that it will begin in Ancient Egypt and move through to a future life on Mars. I need to know what those worlds look like so that I can describe them to my reader and take them there.  Tasting the sand and the salt of the sweat that a slave will drink to prevent dehydration while working copper mines in a desert, where he knows the names of the Gods, but not the name he was given years ago. All maps need research, all maps affect a story, it matters what the world looks and feels like to your characters; so it matters to the reader, as well.

When you are creating a map out of whole cloth as it were, you will need one of two things:  1. artistic skill or 2. a good program! There are a lot of great programs out there, I state again that I don't get paid by manufacturers I am just sharing the ones that work for me. A great free website resource is donjon world creator. If you have the ability to purchase one or more programs then go here, do not pass go, these guys are amazing! A good program will even save a good artist some time and trouble.  I have also had fun in the past of simply taking a random world and creating a story that fits it.  Even if you never do anything with the story it is a great exercise at world building. When you are setting your work on Earth you have the advantage of having a map already made, and the disadvantage of the possibility of making a mistake.  For instance, did you know that Tucson, Arizona has a two month monsoon season, but is still considered a desert? These are the kinds of things you need to know about where you set your novel so that if someone is reading it from that part of the world they recognize their neighborhood.

World building isn't just about maps.  When you are writing fiction you have the ability to create an entire world, even on Earth, and you will people this world with the creatures you create.  Are they human or human like? What is precious to them, who or what do they compete with for resources? Do they see themselves the way others see them? How are the creatures in your galaxy governed or are they? Did I just say GALAXY?

Yes, I did.  When you write a book, or create a game world, there is always the possibility of sequels or new modules, etc. We have even seen authors writing two unrelated series pull them together and show that they were in one universe the entire time; i.e. the Anne McCaffery Pern and Ship series. Even without that possibility, for me, knowing the world and the universe that my characters are born into helps me breathe life into those characters.  If a dragon from a lush vegetative area were to come upon a plain how would it react to the sky?  Would it have wings?  Would it know how to fly if it does? Even if that dragon never sees a plain or the sky, knowing how it would react helps you make that character one that the reader cares about.  

Things like a planet having more than one sun or moon are going to affect things like deities, cycles of seasons, the way the people approach math and the sciences. Are they able to see stars or is it constantly partially lit in their world.  If you never see the stars are you driven to fly? Are you driven to get to the stars? Your characters, in this book, may never consider these things; I believe that it is your job to at least have a basic idea what the rules of your universe are. Do Newton's laws work or Asimov's law or even better yet gravity?  We long to fly because we are held down. Would a creature who can't touch down without assistance dream of walking?

Build your foundation well and the story grows from the questions.  Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

The American Dream

Often artists work in "cycles."  You read one of my poetry cycles earlier in the colors blog.  Today I am sharing my American Dream photographic cycle.  One of the best things about this shoot is that it was completely unplanned.  My husband and I were driving to visit his children and stopped at a rest area as the sun was setting.  Here was this farmer working to get his crop in while he could still see and very obviously wearily making his way home as the beauty that surrounded him played out it's daily routine as well.

The Job

Going Home

Promise

The Farm

Sunset

Farms were, from the beginning, what the American dream was all about. Owning your own land. Growing, breeding/herding, and bartering for the things that sustain your family and your community. That was the American dream.  My paternal grandfather was a farmer. My father was not. The "baby boomers" were a generation of professionals. The American Dream changed. The family farm is now replaced by corporate farming and hobby farmers. There are still family farmers, but they are the minority now. I was caught by the juxtaposition and I hope I caught it as well.  The American Dream changes, it is supposed to, over time; but in truth it is the same as it always was. To live a life free from strife and that makes the future a good one.  Is the sun setting on that too?

 Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Pain, the Fourth "P"

I have insinuated on here several times about my illness and that I am "stuck" at home.  Let me clarify of what I speak.

1.  I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. While I am uncertain if that is what is the whole of what is going on, I am coming around to the fact that it is at least part of it.  Fibro means joint aches and pains and so much more. Today I am dealing with the fact that my skin hurts so bad the touching things (like the keys of a keyboard) sends pain to the receptors in my brain. Being stubborn doesn't help me here.

2. I have what are called complex, complicated migraines.  I have been suffering from migraines daily for a while now.  When combined with the above it means that the hair on my head hurts today.  Not like man I drank to much last night hurts; nope this is holy hell my hair is too heavy on my skin hurts. My life is a true joy of finding new ways to have migraine symptoms.  Seizures, parathesia, edema, blindness, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, tinnitus, nausea, vomiting, hot and cold flashes; the list goes on...and on...

3. All of the medications for the above have taken away my hunger.  I don't get hungry.  I just eat when I take my pills because that's what the doctor told me to do.  I like food, but I don't get hungry...and when I do eat sometimes it doesn't taste the same way...

4.  Prior to my doctor telling me to eat when I took my pills I had lost 20 pounds because I wasn't eating at all unless it was put in front of me.

5. Since then they said that I have gained 40 pounds.

6.  That was only a couple of months ago, so I went in for an ultrasound of my liver and another MRI of my brain.

7. Oh yeah I have a brain tumor.  It's benign they think.  It's the kind you get when you have had a migraine every day for almost a year.

8.  There are also 3 holes in my heart; but they haven't caused any of this, because my heart is completely healthy.

Five years ago I was in the best shape I had been in since I was an adult.  In the time since I have fought, and beaten, cancer and have dealt with what are honestly beginning to seem like the side effects from that.  They didn't give me chemo or radiation.  I had four, count them FOUR, surgeries in eight months.  I went out after three of them and worked, in one way or another, for at least a week.  The third was the only in patient surgery, but I have been told all four were major surgeries.  By the end of that year I was exhausted.  I have never been quite the same, I stopped working that same year, so neither have our finances.

We moved from Michigan to Illinois just over 2 years ago.  We rented a tractor trailer from a specialized company and packed/unpacked ourselves.  I did most of the packing by myself due to work commitments that Sar and Crimson had. Our things filled a 28' trailer. I had some amazing help at the end of our time in Michigan; but a significant portion was just me.  I had knee trouble when we got to Illinois so our friends here helped us unpack.  I haven't been myself since.  I have trouble carrying 15 pounds around the house. Standing and walking can be an issue.  I am now taking anti-depressants and anxiety medication because of where that kind of pain and debilitation took me.

Some days I can't get out of bed. Some days I can and then have to go back. I am never just fine. I do the things on this blog despite the pain. I want a little beauty in my life again so I am taking it. This isn't a story of someone triumphing over their disease.  This is the story of someone living at subsistence level with their disease.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Inspiration Photography...or...Wow that's pretty, now to remember why I took it...

Most often when I am inspired to take photos it involves the obvious.  Why does one take a photo of the sunset?  Because it is beautiful. The same can be said of almost any large scale "nature" photo of mine. Then there are the ones that it's not true for.

This is a random collection of some of my raw work. The one with the date on it was even taken with a different, "lesser" camera. All of these photos will, or have, become art in a different form; some you have even seen in this blog.  Every one of these was taken because it was the texture of the subject that appealed to me. Unlike a "pretty" photo I rarely had any idea at the time of taking the picture what the finished product would look like, I just knew there was something interesting here and I wanted to have a part in making it come alive.

It is rarely difficult in photography to find a subject that is interesting, pretty, or even beautiful.  The difficult part is not even having the skill to take a good, even a GREAT photo, with time and dedication it will happen. Having your camera with you, knowing that NOW is the time to get that shot, and then seeing it in the proverbial darkroom; these are the things that make an art photographer. Did you see that lead?  Having your camera with you. Not your camera phone. Not your point and shoot (while my husband's point and shoot did take one of these, so I have to watch myself there). Nope, having your CAMERA with you. Very few photographers travel without their cameras. We might miss something.

The difference between a hobby photographer and a professional photographer is, technically, simply the charging of fees. In truth, it is much more complex.  In this age of digital anyone, everyone it seems, can take a good photo-and does.  I am not even going to use the line about a GREAT photo.  Not this time. A hobbiest though, will have taken, and deleted, many more photos than a professional. The professional has learned when to take the picture (or pictures) and that deleting often loses you a shot that might have been good with some thought behind it. A professional will take 100 to every 1,000 of the hobbiest.  More of them will be good and yes, some of them will even be great (it is possible for a hobbiest to take a great photo...I know this and don't go there often).  There are "professional" photographers who are really hobbiests and there are hobbiests who only lack the equipment to be professionals.  I have seen iPhone photos that were better than some pros work; not because of bad pros, but because of amazing hobbiests.

Take the photo, sometimes it is done at that point.  Sometimes it is not.  Art is knowing when it is done, and taking the steps or not taking any steps, to get it there! Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Life ain't easy

It isn't meant to be.

A quote:  The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. ~Henry David Thoreau

Today I wrote this:

Living easy isn’t living

Going with the flow

From one day to the next

Means being just like everyone else

Life is hard

It is supposed to be

Easy Lessons are learned easily

The hard ones are supposed to hurt

So you can point at the scar

And say it was worth it.

Live life HARD and live life.

I am going to share a secret with you...for me it's last week. (cue shocked face and dramatic music)....bom bom bom bom....

I write these pieces at least one week in advance so that if it's a hard day or a hospital day I don't have to worry because you will be reading a blog!  My job in all seriousness has become this blog and creating things for it.

Some hard truths for me  have happened in the last 5 years.  Some of the best things in my life have happened in the last 5 years.

I have had cancer.  I survived cancer.

I met one amazing freaking woman.  I have been seriously ill for the almost three years since we met. ( I met the freaking amazing man in my life just over 5 years ago...so he is doomed to not make it here by a technicality).

I have had a migraine every day for the last 9 months, prior to that and now I have been dealing with unexplained body aches and pains that put me in the hospital twice last year.  I am slowly learning to take care of myself and rediscovering my arts.

The friends we moved closer to slowly drifted away, my husband was unable to visit the children we moved closer to because of our financial situation, and we have been dead broke almost from day one of our move.  We moved out of Michigan.

We are going to be doing the most difficult thing, due to our finances, that I can think of (including those things above).  I get to do something I have wanted to do pretty much since I can remember.

So what is that last thing?  I finally get to live in the Southwest!  Sar got a transfer with the VA and we are moving to Tucson! Whoot, Whoot!  Sadly, we aren't doing this for kicks and giggles; but for my health.  The weather is much better for me there and Crimson can get her DMA there as well.  It's win/win/win.

The only lesson you learn from an easy life is...yeah nope.

Everyone has a story, thus everyone lives a hard life.  Your definition of hard only applies to you.  My life has sucked for my health and finances.  My life has been utterly amazing in the way of my closest relationships and artistry.  The glass is only half of anything if you don't freaking drink it.  Drink up! Make the most of what you are given and give the most you can!

I gave you a poem and a quote!  That is a MWF "P" with some sage advice.  Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Monday...

First off a little family promotion:  If you are interested in some good fiction and better advice please tune into Crimson's blog. Interested in the Shadoe Stone's product line? Remember that we don't have a webpage yet, so see us on Facebook.  Finally, my mother is an amazing crafter and has turned her crochet into an amazing business on Facebook, Handmade by Phyllis by name.

Now onto our Monday...

3Ps is the MWF theme, we are only a few weeks in so there isn't much feedback and even less of a conversation about what you would like to see more and/or less of; so I shall continue in what has started.  Please always feel free to comment here or contact me directly.

Shades of Grey, Dawn Cowan

Speaking about black and white photography and poetry by colors in the last few weeks inspired this piece.  Sadly, it did not photograph well from my tablet.  The texturing of the paint is part of what makes my works compelling, if you believe they are at all, and in this one the red seems to be climbing out of the black and grey.

Color is great for making things pop out at you.  While the grey-scale photo with a red rose is almost trite now, the opposite is just as effective if properly done.  A riot of color is great, drop in a grey-scale aspect and suddenly you have stillness within chaos.  My favorite play with color in photography  though is when the colors are soft and still crisp and clean.  A photo shot in the night shadows, with spots of light for instance.

Spanish Moss at Night-Dawn Cowan

I have almost run out of my "found" acrylics and I am done with the canvases afforded to me by the sale (except, maybe, the one I am painting over) so I am done with painting for now.  It makes me sad when I can't get out what is in my head.  Okay fine, it pisses me off that it's money that is causing the problem.

I have dreams about the amazing things I can do with canvas and paints.  I drool over wall sized canvas and buckets of acrylic paint.  I would adore being able to create mixed media art pieces using my camera, paintings and some of my craft work.  Heck, I just want an easel, canvas and some paint too.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Three Weeks in and some Random Photos

So, we are three weeks in and I think you are seeing the trend.  I am trying to have a conversation with you, the reader. I am keeping my posts short and posting daily to keep the conversation going.  Please feel free to do more than just read!  I look forward to answering questions and even dealing with topics suggested by readers.  If you don't like what I am doing then unless you are related to me, by blood or marriage, why are you still reading?

Now onto our 3Ps....today we will post some lovely photos and discuss! Yay photos!

Wood Dragon

The Big Top

Camouflage

Canyon Wall

I love taking photos from an unusual perspective.  Wood Dragon is not from that unusual a perspective, but from the angle I took it I emphasized the log's resemblance to the dragon with it's mouth open.  This "trick angle" is a common photographic trick and is why you see us wandering around in circles for hours before we take a photo.  Okay maybe not hours, but you see what I mean.

The "Big Top" is not actually a tent, but a wooden picnic area that had the most amazing angles and arches.  This was taken in natural light with a zoom lens helping the shadows do those amazing things they do.

Camouflage is the reason I want a macro/micro lens when and if I ever get a camera again. The ability to see this gran daddy long legs up close and personal without walking out into the lagoon, is well worth the lens!  Okay, I admit it, I have lens envy.

Finally "Canyon Wall"  is no more and no less than it's title.  The colors, angles, and crop all come together to make you ask which way is up.  Taken in New Mexico this photo shows the stark beauty of the desert and the persistence of time and water.

Photography is a joy for me and one I have missed for the last two years since I had to sell my camera.  I am hoping to get back to it soon.  There is water calling me!

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Mistakes

"We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents." -Bob Ross

Painting is easy in some ways.  Canvas, paint brushes, and paint meet and a picture is made.  What happens though when the picture in your mind and the one on the canvas don't match?  Or worse they do and then your brush grabs wrong and the color runs in the wrong way. What do you do?  Do you leave the painting as it is and give up on it?  Do you try and work with the mistake and make a new picture that is similar but incorporates the mistake, makes it beautiful?  Do you work with the mistake and make something new, something unique?

I think you know where this is going.  Mistakes happen in life just like they do in painting. What we do with them determines how we live.  Are we going to spend our lives stressed out and trying to fix so much that we never even get the chance to live?  Conversely, if we just ignore the mistakes and go on as if they never occurred, is that the correct response?  How you go on after a mistake is made often determines the size of the mistake.

Crimson is a big fan of Bob Ross.  Her Shadoe Stones product line is "Happy Trees" in his honor. Mr. Ross was a man who knew how to turn a mistake around on canvas.  Remaining calm is often a large part of the process.  I do not paint in Mr. Ross' style at all. I place emotions on canvas in an almost haphazard way.  Then came the day that I needed to form a picture to correctly carry the emotion I needed. I wanted a sky and a hill with trees. I used a watercolor paint for the first time ever, it was blue for the sky.  Then I went to put light into the sky and boom green.  Well, shit.  Yellow and blue make green.  Acrylic paint is fluid. Watercolors are "WATER" colors for a reason.  Yeah, so now we have a blob of green in the sky...how do we fix it?  Do we accept that the painting isn't going to be what it was supposed to be?  Do we try and make it fit anyway?  How do we fix this mistake? I tried fixing it. Made it worse. I then ran with it. I am uncertain how I feel about the finished product, I am not even certain, yet, that it is finished. Heck, I may use that time honored tradition of painting over. Going to need new paints for that, so it will have to wait.

We can't hit rewind in life. We live with our mistakes small and large.  It is what you do with them that makes life. I try very hard to live with no regrets. Every decision I have made right and wrong has brought me to where I am, and that is a beautiful thing.

The aforementioned painting.  I have done worse...and I have done better, a lot better!

 Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Inspiration-Poetry (Color)

 Inspiration comes from many directions for all kinds of art.  A sunset, a toy, a person, or a conversation can all trigger the creative instinct.  The "Color Cycle" is a three poem set that began following a conversation.  The conversation was with an African American woman who had grown up as a member of the only African American family in a small town in Texas.  She had been told by family and friends that being dark was bad, having natural hair was unprofessional and basically that she was unattractive because of nothing more and nothing less than her genetics.  I wasn't shocked as much as I was saddened.  The young lady is beautiful, by the by. Hearing the hurt in her voice made me want to weep.  As a shockingly white woman raised in the Mid-West, I am no judge of the African American community and I am not trying to be.  I just wanted to help one person feel better and the words helped me feel better as well.

Color

#1

Why is nude a color?

Why is it not just an expression of who we are,

Skin tone holds no sin.

Be Proud of who and what you are.

Bathe in the beauty of you

#2

Why limit yourself to the colors of a rainbow?

Create Love and live outside the boundaries.

Let life be limitless and grow beyond your wildest dreams.

#3

All the shades of beautiful

How many crayons are in your box?

Where is your paper bag?

Do NOT limit your vision

Do NOT limit your choice.

Look at all of the shades

See all of the beauty

I am more then aware of my privileges.  I was raised well, by people who loved and celebrated me for who I was.  They wanted the best for me and that included education, food and shelter.  I have had familial support for my entire life.  Some people, of any color, do not have that support.  That support is what has given me the confidence to be who I am and be happy about it.  I could not be a creator now if it weren't for my family then.  For some it is the opposite, they created (and indeed still do) to escape their circumstances and are inspired by pain.  Most often, I find joy within my creative cycle.

Inspiration in writing, especially poetry, is like a lightning bolt for me.  It is in my head and it must get out.  It doesn't care if it is the middle of the night, middle of a conversation or the middle of another creation; it wants out now.  I have found that if I resist those impulses I lose the words. If I do it often enough and for long enough they stop coming entirely.  The first time I lost the words completely, when my head was silent, was a relief.  For about a month.  Then I was lonely.  I tried to force the words. It didn't work.  I had to live my life and wait for them to come back.  They did eventually and I am glad.  It took me actually participating in life not letting it pass me by.  Every day that I am sick I worry that they will go away again.  I can't participate the way I used to and want to so how long can the words last? I am going to be writing them down for as long as they do.

Celebration-Dawn Cowan 

If you pay attention there is beauty all around you.  Whether you write, paint, take photos, or talk recreate that beauty and share it with the world.  The world deserves more artists.  Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon.

Photography-The Golden Years

When you are doing something you love, you are playing every day.

I love this series of photos because both man and dog are having the time of their lives and the dog is doing what it was bred to do. 

I call this series the golden years.  I don't think it really needs an explanation.  Fun is it's own reward! 

You are going to see a lot of water photography from me.  I am fascinated by water.  I tend to take photos of nature, but most often I am drawn to water, it is essential and everything but passive even when it is still.  

I was at this beach to get some wave shots.  The man and dog were there the entire time.  The buoy would go in, the dog would retrieve it and it would go back in.  There was simplicity in the routine but it was spiced up by the dog's barking.  If the buoy wasn't in it's mouth the dog was sharing it's joy with the world.  Sometimes even with the buoy in the mouth there was muffled sound.  It was adorable.  In the last two shots you see that he dropped the buoy to say how much fun he was having...he then turned around and brought it back to be thrown again.

Bring joy to your work and you will give joy with your work.  Boredom, anger, sadness, madness they all show in art.  Every once in a while simple joy is refreshing.

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon. Personal appearance this weekend in the Shadoe Stones booth, at the Indy Pagan Pride Day.

The Elements and Artistry

I finished them and got photos!  Whoot!

EARTH

AIR

FIRE

WATER

I am exceptionally excited to have finished this, as it has been waiting for almost 6 months due to lack of funds.  We are still lacking in funds, but in the cleaning to find things to sell or pawn Sar found the Christmas present he had forgot he had purchased for me...so new paints!

Today we are going to talk about something on topic, but not related to these pieces specifically. 

 What makes an artist an artist?  

Short answer?  They do.  Long answer?  Fine, I'll do it.

An artist is an artist when they say (or admit-I have known several who deny it-they are normally the best, by the way) they are.  The viewer of the art can determine if they like it or not, but they shouldn't try to determine whether or not it is art.  Anything we are passionate about can be art.  Yes, anything-ask Don Juan and Casanova, better yet, ask the women they were with; whether or not they were artists.  You are a house painter, a plumber, a secretary?  You love what you do and you do it well?  Then YOU are an artist.  

That begs the question though of "do it well."  How do you determine that?  That depends on the criteria.  Secretaries should be able to type, file, search google for the boss' lunch again and many other things and they often have to be extremely flexible in what their day is going to be like (and I know secretary is passe. I don't care. I was one for years, I know what it takes).  At the top of their game there is some serious artistry involved.  There is also very little subjectivity to it.  A painter, a writer, or a poet though? Someone like me who claims to be all of the above and more?  There is a lot of subjectivity there.

So how do you know?  How do they know? This is the ephemeral part.  Art is art. Or is it?  My paintings would be considered "modern," but many people know 1st graders who could finger paint "better."  What makes one art and the other not?  Answer:  I do.  Art is the creation of work for the appreciation primarily for the appeal to the emotions or senses.  A small child creates to please yes, but seldom are they creating it as art.  An artist is expressing, sharing and giving you a part of their soul.

So I am an artist.  Are you?

Love what I am doing and want to see more?  I am now on Patreon. Personal appearance this weekend in the Shadoe Stones booth, at the Indy Pagan Pride Day.